To ever be successful in polyamory (or any form of non-monogamy) you really must have three things.
1) Honesty: not only giving the honest truth when asked directly, but speaking up and saying when you have an issue with something, and working towards resolution.
2) Communication: listening and talking to your partner(s) on a regular basis, about good and bad
3) Honest communication: even if you are communicating you need to be sure what you are communicating is the truth, not just what you think your partner(s) want to hear.
Really these are important to any relationship. But they are crustal in polyamory and other forms of consensual non-monogamy. Sadly a lack of #3 is why my relationship failed. I (or really we, my lover included) thought he was on board with everything. But really he wasn’t communicating what he really wanted and resentment built as a result.
These three things my current partners and I strive for. We are not perfect of course, but it is important we all share those same goals. Admittedly polyamory is not easy; it takes even more hard work and dedication than a traditional monogamous relationship would. But for me it is so worth it.
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