Polyamory it’s for me! WEEEE!

To ever be successful in polyamory (or any form of non-monogamy) you really must have three things.
1) Honesty: not only giving the honest truth when asked directly, but speaking up and saying when you have an issue with something, and working towards resolution.
2) Communication: listening and talking to your partner(s) on a regular basis, about good and bad
3) Honest communication: even if you are communicating you need to be sure what you are communicating is the truth, not just what you think your partner(s) want to hear.
Really these are important to any relationship. But they are crustal in polyamory and other forms of consensual non-monogamy. Sadly a lack of #3 is why my relationship failed. I (or really we, my lover included) thought he was on board with everything. But really he wasn’t communicating what he really wanted and resentment built as a result.
These three things my current partners and I strive for. We are not perfect of course, but it is important we all share those same goals. Admittedly polyamory is not easy; it takes even more hard work and dedication than a traditional monogamous relationship would. But for me it is so worth it.

"in love" doesnt last forever.

Apparently many people don't understand there is a difference between "in love" and "true love". Including much to my surprise, my soon to be ex-husband!
"In love" is a couple smitten with each other. There is usually an intense attraction and lots to warm fuzzy feelings. This love is great. But those warm fuzzy feeling diminish over time. No ones fault, just happens. If you think those fuzzy feelings are going to last forever and that all you need to make it through... I'm sorry to tell you, my friend, but you are in for some heartache. If you lose it though, don't worry, that doesn't have to be the end! This is where true love comes into play. This love isn't fluffy and cute, this love is deep and meaning full. If "in love" is cotton candy, true love is a big ol' thick juicy steak (I am a fat girl i use food analogies work with me here). Cotton candy is fun and sweet. but it doesn't fill you up, melts as soon as it hits your tongue. Oh but that steak, it's rich and flavorful and fills you up. Its what we all really crave. We are talking unconditional "I love you for who you are and accept you as you are" kinda love. You stay because that person is worth loving and you want to share your life with them, fuzzy feelings or not. This isn't the love you see in fairytales. This is 10 years after Cinderella finds her prince Charming. She's put on 60lbs and Prince Charming isn't so charming anymore. Lasting relationships are not built on fluff and magic. They are built and love and dedication. You can't live on cotton candy.
I have known this all along, and thought he did too. But I guess I was wrong. I hope some day he knows how worth it I really am and what a catch he threw back. Because god damn it, I am awesome!